Look, I was just innocently walking by. A car was in the driveway, so I knew someone was home. I only walked around to the side of the house, because I thought I might see Bob or Elise and give ‘em a wave. Just a small thing to make them feel welcome in the neighborhood.
Janet and I had been talking about bring them a casserole or something, but then we started considering food aversions and allergies, and…well anyway, we ended up not doing anything.
I didn’t want to look like I was snooping, so I kept walking, slowly, as I peeked through the kitchen window.
And that’s when I saw something that stopped me right in my tracks.
Read More Brain in the Window
“We’ve chosen you because you’re just a couple of ordinary transport technicians,” the unfamiliar transport chief said. “And for one other reason. Proximites and humans are both relatively fragile species—no offense—when it comes to space travel. But here on solid earth…well, you’re still fragile, but you have certain qualities that come in handy should there be any problems with this particular prisoner.”
Read More A Proximite and a Human
Not in the beginning, but early in the history of the world, many mortals suspected that the ones who called themselves gods were shirking their duty of properly governing the world. Some responded by entreating the gods. Others by railing against them.
But a few decided to try answering the question of what it was that the gods spent their time doing if they were not doing what was expected.
It was known that the gods lived far above the earth and somewhere below the stars. Their abode was not visible to mortal eyes, but if human sight could be extended, perhaps human eyes could see the comings and goings of the gods, and follow their course to where they landed in the mortal earthly realm.
Read More The Union of the Spyglass
“Sentient entities of the cosmos!” the announcer spoke, her voice booming through the arena that floated in free space. “Welcome…to GROWL!
The audience cheered, waving their flags, waving their extremities, and shouting the names of their favored fighters. The announcer paused until they settled.
“Our first contender on tonight’s mind-blasting roster, is also our first human ever. Hailing from Earth, wielding the powers of biological science, I give you….Molecular!”
Read More Galactic Ring of Wrestling Ladies
Yeah, I’ve come to terms with it. I’m not going offworld to do anything noble, like teach aliens how to speak human languages, or to plant trees, build houses, or pass out blankets and water during emergencies. I’m going offworld to go live in the house of some rich Blorgnathian who’ll spend the next five years licking my face.
Read More Humans: A Blorgnathian Delicacy?